too dam funny for words – ha!

too dam funny for words – ha!

I have more to say today and tomorrow about a number of things, but let me
take a moment hear to tell you that "Old Man Murray" is one of the
funniest things on the net. Ever. A sample is in order:

Preparing for the Government’s visit took some intense
plotting. Erik’s plan was that we’d each wear beige pants, each drink a
gallon of water beforehand, then, as the agents walked in the door,
simultaneously empty our bladders right into our tan slacks. He thought
the expanding wet spot was a widely recognized symbol of fear and
respect. "Let’s make that Plan B," Chet said. His idea was
that we would simply bribe them with sex. "This plan hinges on
precision timing," he told us, "and that all the agents they
send are corrupt. And gay."

"I’m not having sex with them," Seanbaby said.

"And they’re attracted to Erik," Chet was forced to add,
"Those are long odds, but we’ve got twenty-four hours to doll Erik
up, and I’ve got a can’t-miss beauty regimen: Erik, take off your
glasses."

Erik took them off.

Chet walked around him in a circle, rubbing his chin. "Well, that
didn’t work. I guess we can always fall back on precision timing."

"This is insane." Sean told him, "Everyone knows the key
to getting the dork to look like a stud is tearing the sleeves off his
shirt. Actually, fuck that. Keep your sleeves on. Nobody here wants to
kill the president. It’s just a fucking mixup."

"Plan B it is then," Erik said, "Let’s practice! Everyone
hold hands." – click me to read more!

Anyway, read it. Now. You’ll be that much closer to me.