“What sucks most is just how mean this movie is. How Ron Howard Stole Christmas is as warm and charming as a plastic Christmas tree with painted-on snow that catches fire and burns children’s eyes out. The bastards behind it had no interest in the message they’re flogging, just the bottom line. So, they stretch a wonderful, short children’s book into a padded, crass, mean, harsh fucking bitch of a flick full of greedy, sorry pricks. I can see enough of that type fighting over massaging chairs at the Sharper Image for free.
How Ron Howard Stole Christmas looks like it was filmed in Dorothy Hammill’s garage with all the shit she ripped off from “Holidays on Ice.” I mean, this movie looks cheaper than if they made it entirely with monkey statuary from Tijuana. The snow is faker than my wife’s eyelashes, the Whoville cars are golf carts with fiberglass shells, and the set is a tiny space so all the people and action are crammed together. Whoville is supposed to give off some sort of goofy surreal vibe, but all it really does is give me a case of the heebie-jeebies. “