How much sex I have. Film at 11… NOT

Warning: This post is funny, but very, very sarcastic. Enter at your own risk and with a tongue in your cheek.

1. Let’s talk about sex.
2. Specifically, let’s talk about me and sex.
3. More specifically, let’s talk about how much of it I have.

Apparently there is a fair amount of interested in how much time I spend playing “hid the salami” in my life. So much so that an anonymous person couldn’t help herself anymore (at least I hope it was a girl) and had to get the moderator on a mailing list I am on to ask me how often I “lay the stones” to the girls.

Now this all came about because of my well known opinion about sex:

I won’t do it if I am not in the mood and attracted to whomever is offering.

Now this opinion is causing quite a stir when you couple it with another of my well known opinions:

Guess what?! Almost no one in the world is blessed with the genetics of a supermodel, so this means you probably don’t look like one either chuckles.

Of course, I have opinions on lot’s of things people seem to dislike.

I was always concerned as to why it is so many people get so upset when I mention that I have fairly high standards on what I find attractive and that I don’t seem to feel compelled to have sex with people I am not attracted to. OK, so maybe to say I was “concerned” is stretching the truth. But I did find it pretty funny 🙂

Anyway, when you put it all together you can only come to one obvious conclusion…

A lot of unattractive people are despondent that I am never going to sleep with them.

I can only apologize so much, and inevitably this depression turns to anger. They try then to find a way to make me either admit something they think will make me feel or look foolish, or to prove to themselves that I can’t possibly mean it.

To this end it becomes commonplace in such discussions for someone to point out that the girls aren’t supermodels either but I seem to do just fine with them. The answer is of course that while it is true that the girls are not supermodels it is also true that they are just damn pretty and are well into the top 1-2% of the population for non-supermodels.

In other words, I find them acceptably delectable 🙂

The NEW twist this time around is the combination of all this that led someone take a conversational tactic that would:

• satisfy their curiosity about my sex life
• give them a chance to masturbate while I talk about sex some more
• be mildly insulting (or so they thought) and thus score some lame point in a debate they are crushingly outmatched in

Oh yeah, alternately it could just be some nice person who is curious and means no harm. If that was you and your reading this… oops.

But I doubt it 🙂

What is this twist? They asked if the girls are happy with how much sex they have. I THINK it goes like this…

• If I am not going to have sex with people I don’t find attractive.
• And I find supermodels more attractive than most people
• And the girls are not supermodels
• Then that means I have less sex with the girls than I would with a supermodel

And somehow this will count as a victory for the person in the debate 🙂

The simple answer is “maybe”, but they wouldn’t ever understand that so in my response to the moderator I chose to elaborate… the portions of my response that I can duplicate here are…

So there it is, the whole ball of wax. How I came to discuss my sex life and why it is it was a topic. And now you know too!

I am off to sleep.