Wow, it has been a little while 🙂
While surfing the net on an unrelated topic today I came across a webpage
titled "pick
up your own damn socks!" as a result of
this metafilter thread. needless to say PUYODS is a vicious attack on the
male of the species without any reason or objective truth.
I feel… victimized. I mean it!
Fortunately, it isn’t all one sided. One brave voice in the wilderness speaks
of unvarnished truths, and it is to
that man this entry stands dedicated.
That man is Mil Millington, and his web page is "Things
my girlfriend and I have argued about". Mil is an amazing talent, proving
that once again even the oppressed can raise our voices in laughter.
Some quotes will suffice to get you to go read the page when you have 10
minutes and an irresistible urge to giggle yourself silly. Oh, and you simply
MUST read about the gravy incident. Follow the link and do a search.
Sample 1
[go
there]
Margret [spotting Mil picking with his fingernail at the goo left on
a CD case by the price label]: ‘What are you doing?’
Mil: ‘I’m talking to Mark using Morse code – he’s at home right now
holding one of his CD cases, picking up the vibrations I’m making.’
Margret: ‘No you’re not, you liar. You’re lying. Why do you always lie?
You liar.’
Mil: ‘It works by resonance. You just have to practise for a bit to be
able feel the plastic quivering – go over and get that Black Grape case, press
it on to your nose, and we’ll see if you can pick up anything.’
(There’s the briefest flicker of indecision in her eyes; offering me, for
one tantalising moment, the possibility that I’m going to spend the next ten
minutes – ‘What about this, then? Press it on your face harder.’ – having
quite simply the best of times… but then she grunts.)
Margret: ‘Liar. You’re just a liar.’
Sample 2
[go
there]
This is the first thing Margret said to me today: I walked downstairs into
the kitchen and she handed me a yoghurt and said, ‘Here, eat this, it’s out of
date.’ Excellent.
Sample 3
[go
there]
I must make it clear that my actions here seemed perfectly rational at the
time. I’ve mulled them over since, of course, and am relieved to find that
they still hold up to examination – it’s pleasing to know I can make good
decisions under pressure. Anyway, we eat the meal from a table awash with
gravy. I am happy to have argued my point persuasively. Margret has a smile
fixed to her face from the belief (incorrectly, of course, but it’s only her
enjoyment that matters) that I’ve clearly done something hugely stupid that
she can bring up later in any number of arguments – possibly years from now.
Everyone wins.