“There are No Mistakes now baby
We did the best we could
It takes what it takes and sometimes
And sometimes it’s so hard to understand
And just take the changes that we all
Have been dreaming of
There are No Mistakes in love…”
Valentines Day, 2003. Weird time in my life, weird day.
Obviously, a big virtual chocolate heart to the [[Girl2|girls in my life]], they should probably get a lot more than I can give them this year – and I know they deserve more than I have been putting out for a few years in some respects…
But this isn’t about being annoyed with myself; or self recrimination or anything of the type. This entry is about how much I really like myself. Think of it as a self Valentine; certainly I deserve one. You may also, if you like, think fo this as the long delayed flowering of my feeling son new years eve.
I know, I know, my timing is bad. Currently Flagg is in an upswing as well… and that usually doesn’t work. Usually either he or I are feeling good about ourselves, but rarely both so this is a fairly unique occurrence… who knows, maybe something good will come of it.
Anyway, with a lot of help and support I think I finally made a breakthrough. Anyone who has been following my weblog for any amount of time knows that I have been having some fairly heavy issues with my authority. I don’t have an problem with attaining it, or maintaining it – what I don’t seem to do is >use< it.
Now, this isn’t to say that I am about to become some ritual laden dick thumper; that’s simply not the way I work. The thing is, how >do< I work? What is it that makes me happy – what things represent my worldview? I’m not entirely sure… kind of funny huh? I can tell you with absolute certainly what The Estate standards are … and I believe in them, support them and absolutely can teach them. However they have always been different than the specific things each of the Estate trainers has wished for in our personal lives.
I’m starting small, with a clean slate. I am goign to start with things that mean something to me. That matter in my mind. Of course, it is precisely because they matter to me that I am reluctant to put them into practice. I want to be liked… not by my property and servants – I don’t need them to like me; but I do really, really, really want my [[Girl2:girls]] to like me and be happy.
Now, don’t get the wrong idea, I do not live in anarchy. There is authority, and there is deference in my life. I just don’t have much in the way of specific rules… nor do I intend to do so. At this time though, it will be best for everyone involved to be clear… giving us a place to go from. I expect that there will be some weirdness… in one way it will feel like less intimacy and more formality – but in the end I think it will bring more of both into my life.
You know, just like I tell everyone else it does; the computer phrase is “[[e2:eat your own dog food]]”… and sometimes I need a new bowl.
Oh, before we get started… this isn’t about slavery or ownership at this point…. this is a Daddy thing, so roll with it and make Daddy happy… it’d be a shame if he had to start using the belt right away.
I welcome discussion, comments or concerns. This is not the apocalypse, this is personal growth… mine. This is not intended as punishment. to alienate anyone, destroy intimacy or relationships. This is for me, not against anyone else. Talk to me with problem or concerns, do not panic!
“The rules” – a protocol foundation for Daddys house and domain
- For this purpose, the “office” is specifically considered part of my domain. Generally speaking my domain travels with me, though there are notable exceptions where the space is obviously neutral or where a stronger claim to domain applies.
- The use of furniture is a privilege. Permission to use the furniture is hereby granted with the single exception of my bed. Permission must be asked to make use of it. If you are sent to the bed without permission to enter it, then you will kneel on or next to the bed until you get permission; this also applies if I am in the bed and instruct you to wait or do not respond to a request for permission immediately. I am sure your instincts will be a good guide in this.
- When a name is appropriate, it’s “Daddy”, “Sir” or “My Lord”. I do not demand that my ‘name’ be used at all times in conversation and I am fine with pronouns. The exception to this is “Thank you”. Thank you is ALWAYS followed with my name.
- If you’re in my bed you’re wearing leather or restraints. This may take the simple form of a leather thong tied around a limb or it may take the form of practical restraints. Assume that if you’re sleeping at the office your hands will be cuffed.
- Appropriate jewelry is required. You have broad latitude to make discretionary changes to this for work and wardrobe issues, feel free to ask for my help in selecting a substitute. Check with me on what is considered acceptable in this regard, for now consider that a gold or silver necklace, anklet or bracelet is acceptable. Additionally, a simple leather thong or shoelace around neck, wrist or ankle will suffice. When we are at the office or in a suitable location a collar with a ring is the preferred form of jewelry.
- Ask before eating if I am present.
- Ask before smoking if I am present.
Happy V-day to me.
Night!