As you may well know, I am a big fan of
Everything2. I use it as one of my reference sources and also as a good
place to pull a funny quote or two. Last night I wound up getting involved in a
fairly deep node safari. I figured I’d put it up here in case you
wanted to follow along.
If you do you’ll learn a little something about sex, a little about suicide,
lots about lesbians and anime and more about M&M’s then you thought you would
learn today.
Go ahead, skim it… step inside my mind. Under each link I put a
representative quotation – it is by no means the entire contents of the
available information. E2 is funny, informative and cool.
"(This node presents an idea I’ve had for a long time, and its noding
has not been
inspired
by anyone else. I am a
persecuted genius, and if you say otherwise, you
SUCK!
On the ball, no erase-um, no change-um, no nothing.)"
Big Breasts, Small [email protected]
"The RPG
game of which
Big Eyes, Small Mouth is a mere degraded
parody
of. This extremely
realistic
piece of
artwork enables you to adventure on the
hentai
world, dealing with the
lifestyle and
dangers of an
inhabitant of that universe. (AKA how to deal with three
gangbangs every day)."E.d. note; Here is
a link to the game.
Big Eyes, Small
[email protected]
"One of the best things about BESM is that the character generation
system is balanced, which is often hard to do in multi-genre games. A game
where mecha
pilots team up with
magical girls and
streetwise
gumshoes is entirely within the realm of mechanical possibility."
short skirt, big [email protected]
"when
it works, it’s awesome. you go into your
isp, for
instance, and the guy
behind the counter starts checking you out, being
very nice and
very helpful because he’s
mistaken you for a
skanky cheerleader. then,
before he knows what hit him, you start throwing
tech jargon and him and demanding
100 MB
more space for your
webpage."
"One of the most
profound experiences that I have ever had was to see this song performed
for 20,000 deadly silent people. Concerts are
loud and excited, even
Tori Amos concerts, but every single person in that audience stopped and
listened when she played that song. I cannot think of any way to show greater
respect for her, her song or her
experience.
It has touched me forever."
I
never thought I would node [email protected]
"The guy smiled a lot if I remember right, and I’m not sure that I do.
He had thick
glasses,
I think. But days in the
tree house. It was ours, fuck everyone else, when we were there we were
it. So many glory days when we were
kings.
Anime ain’t anime without tentacle [email protected]
"I don’t think this w/u is in particularly
bad taste, so it really is a puzzle why it is so controversial. It
occurred to me that, as a by-and-large minority pasttime, perhaps some
otaku
are a little defensive about the
perception of
anime –
labelling as
cartoon porn was the last of my intentions."
"Xena
and
Gabrielle sharing a moment of
subtext,
Trowa
and
Quatre from
Gundam Wing playing music together, the lovingly detailed footage of
Voltron
forming, or a random yet popular
redshirt or
bridge bunny suddenly getting lines… Fan service, all of it."
Why 2 AM is the best
time to be [email protected]
"A friend of mine and I were discussing the node "it’s
2 in the morning and i own the world." the other night, and we came up
with a mildly
plausible
theory
on why that is. Our best guess is that your senses are tuned in more."
The Dark Tower [email protected]
"In
King‘s collection of
short stories,
Everything’s Eventual, one of the stories is a sort of
prequel
to The Gunslinger. The story’s title is "The
Little Sisters of Eluria", and is very much a
Dark Tower story. Interestingly, in the
brief introduction to the story, King mentioned how hard it was to write
something related to the Dark Tower series as "short" — The Dark Tower always
wants to be "epic",
he wrote."
This node is empty – you should go put something there.
"Other examples include
Uhura,
Sulu, and
Chekov from
Star Trek:TOS,
Maya Ibuki,
Makoto Hyuuga, and
Shigeru Aoba from
Evangelion, as well as Lt. Corwin and various other "Tech #1"s from
Babylon 5"
Hey, would you mind if I was infatuated with you for a [email protected]
"That would have been good if it lasted only a week but a couple years
ago I drove into an
oak
tree thinking about her and I haven’t seen her for twenty five years, but
damn it was
a great fifteen minutes."
The day I realized how sane I really [email protected]
"Some weird medicine, 32 oz of activated charcoal, and 4 bags of saline
later, they sent me with a cop to the state
mental health facility. I think it was around 6am. I had to wait til noon
for the doctor to get there. I was checked in and sat in the waiting room. As
I looked around, I noticed that I was the youngest person there. I also
noticed, I was one of the very few who seemed to be aware of where I was."
What if Dr. Seuss
taught Japanese rope [email protected]
Just go read it.
If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star [email protected]
"Data:
Our ship can get there very fast
But still the
trip will last and last
We’ll have two
days til
we arrive
But can the Indrans there
survive?"
Game Master Rules of [email protected]
Go read.
I
Sucked a Lot of Cock to Get Where I [email protected]
"I bet you think I have it
easy
don’t you? You think I
mosey
on in here at
9:00 am, say hello to my
secretary and shut myself up in an office untill
5:00 pm. Well let me tell you somthing pal, they did not make me President
of
Hostess Cakes Inc. for nothing."
Quick and easy steps to a successful blow [email protected]
(two quotes to get you to go…)
"On a side note, there has been much research into the
gag reflex itself. Apparently, a person’s gag reflex is at its lowest
sensitivity in the morning, right after you’ve woken up. Imagine your lover’s
suprise when, instead of kissing them on the lips with your ungodly
morning breath, you delicately slip under the sheets and wake them up
Traci Lords style. Hell, if it’s easier in the AM, I’m all for putting
this
alarm clock into action.""I’m only 17. I’ve only had/given
blowjobs
to three different guys. However, as a man, I feel that I have some
helpful advice for this node.
I knows what I likes."
Everything Japanese [email protected]
"After 1662 entries, the EJE grew too big to fit in a single e2node.
After consulting with several
editors, a plan for breaking up the Encyclopedia was organized. It has
been broken into sub-nodes by content. Three sections were not liberated;
"Other", "Social Life/Leisure", and "Tales from Japan" will be kept in this
writeup until they get large enough to merit their own nodes. The "Food"
section has been split up: the
Cookery
project has absorbed the listing of
Japanese Recipes into that node, while other aspects of Japanese
cuisine,
such as general dish descriptions and
etiquette, may be found in
Japanese Food."
Well if it’s gonna be THAT kinda party, then I’m gonna stick my dick in the
mashed [email protected]
"Could be heard
throughout the
neighborhood of Southern Pine Trail Knight’s Landing
apartment complex on the night of March 20th, 2000. It was
reported
that an apparently
inebriated 20-year-old red-headed male shouted this to several people,
including two
police
officers in a car nearby."
Let’s not start
sucking each other’s dicks quite yet, [email protected]
"Ever come to a stunning realization that what you just discovered is
going to get you fired?"
How do you get a
Goth out of a [email protected]
"Cut the
rope."
That Little Bitch Marla Singer A Cultural Critique of Sexism in Fight
[email protected]
"The way Marla is presented and portrayed is important because she
becomes an excuse for most of the sexism in the film. After being shown as
dark and irrational, the audience isn’t offended when Tyler tells Jack that he
is "sport
fucking" her."
I
once helped Jason Priestley’s girlfriend find his [email protected]
"Ah, AOL
in the early
90s. A far different place than it is today. Back then,
spam was
kept in cans for the most part, and one could always get online during
peak usage hours."
Some of our best
friends are three minutes [email protected]
"When the bus stopped in
Culpeper, most of the riders didn’t get off. Knowing that I had another
five hours until we got to
Williamsburg, I headed for the restroom and the snackbar. It was about 10
at night and the food counter was closed. I was at the mercy of the
snack machines, and they looked
puny. One
bag of
Barbecued pork rinds and a column of
Fig Newtons. 14 other empty rows of little white half circles, snack
tombstones."
Does this dress make me look [email protected]
"I think a good "safe"
answer is to
leer and say "Take
it off, and I’ll
let you know,
bayBAY!"
Add
lip-licking and
slurping noise
punctuation
to
taste. This response has the
double virtue of…"
The principles of nuclear weapon safety and meeting girls are remarkably
[email protected]
"Northern Blvd.
Burger King. 4.03 PM. A slight breeze blows from the east. The commerce
district of Queens approximates a population of fifty thousand during optimal
peaks. Medium vanilla shake with fries.
Pink hair pulled back into a short, neat ponytail. She’s reading
Cryptonomicon. Sweet Jesus, she’s a
Neal Stephenson fan."
I
just spent $175.00 on black silk [email protected]
"I stopped back at her room to see if she was there. She certainly was,
wearing the
sexy outfit. She looked stunning, and
the guy who was fucking her must’ve appreciated it as well. She let out a
yell, I punched the guy in the nose. He fell over, still glistening from where
he and she were joined. She started crying and saying how sorry she was. He
was crying because I had broken his nose. I was
pissed,
I left."
The C++ Programming Language [email protected]
"Every week I discover something about
C++
(see my
writeup
there for my
"unbiased" opinion). Some days I think of writing my own
C++ book. I shall call it
Revolting C++."
How to win bets and make enemies with a simple card [email protected]
"Now, we
deal the
cards into 3 piles and then recombine them into a single
deck.
Since we are dealing into
three
piles and there are
seven
cards in each pile, it can be seen that the new
position of our card in the deck
y is given by
"The grand list of
HOWTO
nodes on Everything"
My Religion teacher spoke for [email protected]
At 13, I was in a
boarding school in
Sussex,
England,
where I took 12 subjects, one of which was
religion. From my desk in the
coveted back row, I watched my very first
religion teacher with great interest. She started off the school year
reading from the
Bible,
but a few weeks into it,
confided in us that she was receiving nightly
telephone calls from
God and
that He was
telling her what to
teach
us.
Never do card tricks for the people you play poker [email protected]
"And outside, in the alley, hours later, he knew where he’d gone wrong.
He could feel it then, wandering through the pre-dawn cold, feeling sick
inside knowing with a
grave certainty that everything was gone. It was like a great chasm, his
new found knowledge, spreading wide at the very center of himself.
The last spark of his youth was extinguished."
How do they make M&M’[email protected]
"Additionally, when you bite in to one, you can see that there are in
fact two coatings. First the candy shell, and then the thin coloring coat —
So whatever they are doing, they are doing it twice! And on a pretty
grand
scale too!"
"And we all know you
don’t judge a book by its cover, so why should a little
discoloring, and alteration in
shape
and
texture make any difference!?! Especially if the added
flavor
more than over
compensates!"
Stamping M&M’[email protected]
"Another
issue with
M&M’s is the
painstaking stamping of each and every one… We all know that each end
every one of those oh so
smooth chocolate balls is stamped with the character "m", but why?"
How M&M’s Are Really [email protected]
"The single-colored batches of candy are combined into mixtures of
red,
yellow,
blue,
green,
brown
and
orange. They’re
sifted
to eliminate misshapen pieces, and then transported to the machine that will
put the "m’s" on their shells."
Everything database of M&M color [email protected]
"As part of the investigation of
statistical anomalies in M&M color distribution, I encourage Everything
members to
count your M&M colors and record the totals here. I suggest, to increase
the statistical sample, that we focus on plain M&Ms rather than the other
types…but lovers of peanut, almond, crunch, and peanut butter
M&Ms
are also encouraged to leave information here."
How to scare the living shit out of an arachnophobe with a black
[email protected]
"A little something I discovered while I was wondering around my house
at 3 in the morning pulling stuff of shelves. This is done in 6
easy steps."
I
will REMOVE the fucking toilet seat if you don’t shut [email protected]
"This rant isn’t due to the fact that I am
unwilling to help women with this admitted deficiency. Rather, I find it
infuriating that because women are seemingly unable to check to make sure
that the toilet seat is down, they take this anger out on me. It becomes my
deficiency, I am less of a person because I cannot remember to put the seat
down/lid up."
things that make juniors scream like little [email protected]
"As I reached the door of the lab, I heard a
peculiar, high-pitched noise. I looked back, and saw the
afore-mentioned
junior
looking at the screen and
screaming like a little girl."
Things I’ve learned about lesbians from [email protected]
"I am an
18 year old teenage male. In spending my time living up to that title I’ve
learned quite a few things about lesbians that I’d never knew before. I have
to think that these things are all true, as these lesbians are
professionals, I mean, they get paid for having "Hot
Wild Big Breasted Lesbian Sex." I’ve decided to share my knowledge with
you lucky people. You can thank me later."