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| Children of Dune |
In the end then, almost everything I will ever really need to know I learned from
Frank Herbert.
"The Fremen were supreme in that quality the ancients called "spannungsbogen"–which
is the self-imposed delay between desire for a thing and the act of reaching
out to grasp that thing." –from "The Wisdom of Muad’Dib" by the Princess
Irulan – from this I learn patience.
Almost everyone I consider a friend or confidant grew up reading many of the
same things, how could we not? We were all bored to tears in those years and
these same books will find their way into idle hands. As I watched
Children of Dune on SciFi last night I was drawn more deeply back into that
place I had spend so much of my younger years. As one of the pillars of what
would eventually become my atheists replacement for religion
Dune took its place beside
Illusions and
The Fountainhead.
Tolkein provided me ample role models and did show me that friendship
has it’s place next to power. Later
Roland taught me about the simplicity of honor.
I say back because as every when I am dealing with personal confusion my mind
goes to the same place… I struggle for peace, strength and patience. As I
grow and try and
understand who and what I am, try and navigate a interpersonal world that is
changing rapidly the same passages flow through my mind. Of course, they are
also on the lips of everyone else who read these books… but I find in this
that the wisdom of what is said and what I learned is not diminished by how many
people might have read it. In this case, I will allow its popularity without
matching disdain.
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| Children of Dune |
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that
brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over
me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see
it’s path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." – The Bene Gesserit Litany of Fear
– from this I learn courage.
Don’t get me wrong, I like my life and I am in love with those I share it
closest with… I just fear. Nothing that anyone needs to worry about; yet it is
real. Once again I stand at a crossroads, and like some of the characters in
those books I can see the future in my mind. There is a golden path, if only I
have the wisdom to see it and the strength to walk it.
I try and use my newfound will, my reborn strength… tempered with my much
practiced patience and relaxed confidence. Cat* is strong these days, pacing
inside my mind like the darker, stronger side of myself. As always when Cat is
with me and awake I feel this nervous energy across my skin. Not hunger so much
yet… simply a desire to conquer and consolidate. Erase threats, solidify
borders. Piss in all the corners.
Even with a mouth full of teeth, Cat knows when it is time to tread lightly,
act with patience, express concern and love. Not all victories are completed
with claw and fang. Sometimes you groom, sometimes you nest. Allowances and
patience… with just enough of the animal behind so everyone knows the strength
is still there.
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| Children of Dune |
And it is. Watch me try and sit still these days. See me on the floor of my
Dojo. I want to move, act, rise to the challenges and feel the fur in my
mouth… whisper my name and hear the subdued reply. Not now.. this is not the
time 🙂
There are times when power, tempered by love and concern, is a stronger force
than naked power.
"Here was a new slave-concubine, then, red-haired like my father,
willowy and graceful. She had a dancer’s muscles, and her training obviously
had included neuro-enticement. My father looked at her for a long time as she
postured unclothed before him. Finally he said: "She is too beautiful. We will
save her as a gift." You have no idea how much consternation this restraint
created in the Royal Creche. Subtlety and self-control were, after all, the
most deadly threats to us all." –"In My Father’s House" by the Princess
Irulan – from this I learn subtlty.
I see the path, in fact my feet are upon it even now – can I see? Will I be
true? As Roland would say… can I stand?
The answer is yes 🙂
* someday, I will post about Cat here at length. In short Cat is a
internal structure, a name for that part of me that doesn’t see a need for the
games and the niceties.