Rough Sex and self realization…

ed. note: it’s a given any extreme feminists reading this entry will have a cow. Flame away if you want… I don’t care 🙂

Well, later today I get a root canal… and that sucks. 4:00pm for the dentist, then 6:30 or so to my dojo for a night of (I think) workout hell. Hopefully the codeine will work and I can survive the evening without a huge problem till I get home and slip into coma.

As I was waiting for the pain killer to kick in tonight I wound up surfing porn the way I do when I am bored and I came across a clip from one of the “Rough Sex” videos. I may or may not have mentioned these before… and I can’t find a link to tell you about them. In short form they are basically hardcore porn with a serious power differential twist. I won’t call it [[wp:BDSM]] though technically it fits into the top/bottom area of that leaning heavily into humiliation with some breath play and mild face slapping.

The thing is, most of them aren’t all that impressive. Every now and then you come across a girl, or a scene, where the energy is just BANG there and it is riveting… even though in the end it’s still just gonzo porn. It’s even more interesting because the male actors don’t really have a grasp on BDSM or topping – but they found these amazing girls who are so  into this that they soak up the sexual energy coming from the men and just drop into a submissive mode and go into heat. That energy in turn tends to trigger the men.

Personally, I am always fascinated by the freedom I see in some humiliation scenes. It’s not the act of humiliation that is useful to me – but the freedom that is associated with it. Someone who is capable/willing/consenting to be down there as someone temporarily beneath you is someone who is – temporarily – placing themselves in a space outside your normal ethics. You have much, much more freedom… you can ride the energy your normal impulses would repress and prevent.

I’ve never really done more than toy with that edge myself so far – I’m not sure how to cross the line safely and come back when I am supposed to. What I do know is that there is seriously cool voodoo in there – I’ve tasted a little bit and I liked it.

The insight here is not that energy edge – I’ve spoken about all that before. What is new is that maybe this is one of the ways to get to it.

Interesting 🙂