Attention lesbians: you’re not supposed to think women are hot either. That is, if your even a lesbian at all. Remember, the [[wp:evil|patriarchy]] can make you want women too!
But don’t worry, the good girls in the radfem movement have it all figured out, they can tell you how to make sure you sexuality is sterile, boring and completely politically correct. So all you teen chicks out there thinking fondly about your next session of “kissing practice” should read this and repent – after you get a webcam and send me a few hundred pics.
ed note: the title of this entry is pretty damn funny in a few ways if you think about it…
“On another forum I go there’s a lot of that with the teenage girls: ‘girls are pretty, boys like lesbians, I’ll tell all about my lesbian fantasies’. which of course looks exactly like the last pron scene they saw, and its attractiveness depends on the idea of men watching. And you simply can’t say to them ‘your desires are not legitimate’. They’re just induced through a convoluted desire-system that doesn’t have women’s best interests at heart.” – post in context
You might be a lesbian… if you don’t like looking a pictures of hot chicks…
“Your last para, Maayan, could be me speaking. The touchstones of *guessing* at some sexuality other than straightness, for me, is definitely more feminist-induced, like I said. Liking women in the flesh, not on airbrushed paper. Liking women who I’ve actually met and spoken to and admired. Liking women who express a feminist pov.“ – post in context
You might be a lesbian… if you like unattractive “real” women too…
“I think that who you are attracted to says a lot about whether or not you are internalizing the male gaze. It’s not the indicator above all else, it’s not foolproof, but it can shed some light.
I know a lot of women who will say they think they’re becoming bi because they are attracted to some typical object of male lust. I think that, for me, my ability to be attracted to women who don’t fit cultural beauty stereotypes indicates to me an added validity to the attraction. (That said, I think we all have reasons for gravitating toward any “type” that are not entirely organic.)” – post in context
Of course, in any wilderness one can find a voice of reason…
“At the same time, something I find stifling about being both bisexual and feminist, is that it” seems I don’t have “permission” to feel pure, plain physical lust/attraction towards a woman. Straight feminist women are allowed to look at men in a physical way, but lesbian/bi women–I think especially bi women because our “queer credibility” is considered questionable–may not admit to the same about women. *Some* people here might roll their eyes if I went on about the beautiful sexy back of a man I know, but immediately people would tell the eye rollers to shut up and not be all PHMT on my ass. But if I said that a woman I have a crush on has gorgeous breasts, I’d be up to my neck in boiling hot water!!!!! I am supposed to intellectualize my attraction to women in a way that is not expected of my attraction to men. I find that highly problematic.” – post in context
Sometimes a rack is just a rack…
“I don’t know. I guess I do see a difference between saying a man has a nice back and saying a woman has a nice set of breasts, simply because women live in the context of a rape culture in which women are objectified 24/7.” – post in context
Again, a voice strives to make a rational point, or semi-rational…
“True, and that’s good. BUT I am not willing to write off all lesbians and bisexual women who are attracted physically to women with long legs or large breasts, or movie star features as lesser feminists than lesbians who want nothing more erotic than Scrabble, and want it with shaved-headed animal rights activist women. I think this is sort of nuts, expanding the guilty feelings of (mostly) hetero women to demonize lesbians and bi women who don’t fit the PC mold.” – post in context
Remember, Real Lesbians(tm) don’t have physical preferences. Of course some women like having their cake and eating it too as in being with a hot chick and turning their guy on… but that’s evil. I am sure the rape culture is at fault.
“I used to go to some risque (always wanted to use that word) parties and all these “straight” girls would hit on me and get up on me in front of their male SOs who would be like “yeah!”. Same old regular bi woman story. But I noticed that they would act grossed out when almost any other woman came onto them. I am very stereotypically attractive and I think it was pretty easy to act out that movie star crush thing with someone like me (not that we had sex, just them kissing on me and stuff) because it fits a cultural script for “hot” lesbianism- two “hot” girls doing it while a guy watches. I have been in relationships with very femme women and I am not about to say it wrong to do so, I just find that, if you are only, exclusively, and without fail, attracted to women who fit a certain mold too perfectly, you are attracted more to the vision of yourself (see how sexy i am with her and all her sexiness rubbing against me) than to the person’s body.” – post in context
And finally, remember that your sexuality isn’t anything more than one more political statement…
“shabub, i really liked your post. the main reason i am feeling weird about thinking my orientation might be leaning towards hetero is b/c i do NOT want to be lumped in with that type of woman, who i wouldn’t even think of as bi, but as an experimenter.” – post in context