“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.
Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
The slogan “press on” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”Calvin Coolidge
That isn’t the quotation I was going to use for this entry… I was looking for something from [[wp:Sun Tzu]] about change, or adapting strategies. Maybe something from [[wp:Dune]] would be appropriate I thought. You never know… I could look well read. That isn’t what happened.
“Just because it took me a long time to figure out something I should have known a long time ago doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it now that I know because it will make me look bad for being slow” – Me
This was a good weekend for me. As things in my life continue to move forward along the path that I have seen glimmers of I have been learning things about myself, and learning things about how I see the world. It is amazing to me to look at the things I have written and realized that what I needed to know and see is there, if I am able to continue to apply my thoughts to my life. If I have the courage to do so, if I have the drive.
Persistence. Tatsumi and I have been together for a long time. In a way though we are just figuring each other out – and how we can make all this work. Attraction? yes. Love? absolutely. Power? In spades. That’s all there, and it is all good. In the end what it is taking is persistence. It has taken a fair chunk of a decade for Tatsumi and I to get to a place where we can take chances on some things with each other. I don’t blame ourselves for all of that – we each had a lot of change to go through and a lot of growth. I look back and I realize that while we have made mistakes, and we may have cost ourselves some time… we haven’t wasted any time. Every success we have now I can look back into our history and see the seeds behind us… and I can see in each case how things would probably have gone horribly wrong if we had pushed too early, too fast.
Now, because I am so in love with my own voice I always wind up looking back into my own writings when I think about my life. Look into what you see above about persistence, and take a gander at this quote I spoke of in April 2001.
“ANY required Change may be effected by the application of the proper kind and degree of force in the proper manner through the proper medium to the proper object.” – [[wp:Aleister Crowley]]
Sometimes, I have to kick myself. My philosophy changes constantly as I learn… yet it never really has to change at the core. What was true is simply true. it’s one of the reasons I alternately feel so stupid when things take me so long – and why I don’t think I was that much of an idiot in the past.
Cat ran around for a while this weekend… and it was good. The long, slow process of bringing this drive back continues to gain speed and momentum. I don’t need to rush this. I know you, like I, am in a way tired of hearing about what is coming and changing inside me… tire of hearing about my fears and blockages. That’s OK. I am not tired of hearing it tonight. Tonight I know it’s gonna be OK.
“And when I stand on these tables before you You will know what all this time was for…” – see previous post
Like my work life, my relationships have taken odd turns in direction as some skills went to sleep while I learned other things or built a foundation. If there is one thing I am good at it is bringing a huge range of knowledge and skills to bear when I act. This is no different.
In short, I reached into Tatsumi’s head and had a good old time cruising around in the grey matter. It was a blast, and it did both of us wonders in more ways than I can count. There was a aspect of play to it – but serious stuff as well. It was fun and it was as safe as we could make it (emotionally) and it was also scary and risky and important. We stepped over a big line… overt, acknowledged, expressed power and authority. For the first time in a long time I reached out to my power and put it on the line… and it was suddenly there… and so was she.
Fuck Yeah.
Think of the [[wp:Wright Brothers]] first tentative flights. They got off the ground, enjoyed it and brought that thing back down. It was the result of a lot of experimentation, a lot of building, and a lot of knowledge. The flight itself wasn’t maybe the crucial thing… the important point was what they learned…
This fucking thing can FLY.
I’m not big yet… but I know for a fact that I am growing. It has taken me longer than I thought it might to find the right paths and to hit my stride. The compensation is that I am not just going to be big… now I know I am going to be huge. Most importantly, I know how to grow.
A goal that was and is worth the time it has taken ๐
p.s. remind me to talk about punishment and anger as a method to access authority in the face of self imposed shutdowns if I don’t blog about it this week.