I found this posted online, he said it was sent to him via email so I feel OK reposting it. Go check his site out anyway!
Things not to do during “Return of the King”
- Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, “Wait… where the hell is Harry Potter?”
- Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” – After the movie, say “Lucas could have done it better.”
- Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: “The Ring.”
- Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
- Ask everyone around you if they think Gandalf went to Hogwarts.
- Finish off every one of Elrond’s lines with “Mr. Anderson.”
- When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, “And I did it…. MY way…!”
- Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone’s finger and fall down the stairs.
- Dress up as old ladies and reenact “The Battle of Helms Deep” Monty Python style.
- When Denethor lights the fire, shout “Barbecue!”
- In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout “RUN FOREST, RUN!”
- Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: “That’s what I’m Tolkien about!” See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.
- During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, “Where’s Waldo?”
- Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.
- Start an Orc sing-a-long.
- Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking terribly confused.
- When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for tense moment and shout, “I see dead people!”
- Imitate what you think a conversation between Gollum, Dobby and Yoda would be like.
- Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater during the Shelob scene.
- Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of California.
- When Shelob comes on, exclaim, “Man! Charlotte’s really let herself go!”