“I drew our two ages, your above mine, in thickly inked figures. Hiding in the margin of my maths book, among a thousand innocent numerals, they did not shout their incompatibility to the world. Still, the rounded 6 of 16, below the acute angles of the 4 in 34, gave me an illicit, sensuous thrill.” – [[amazon:0802139272|source]]
The book [[amazon:0679727299|Lolita]] is one that has had an impact on our society, and it had a large effect on me. I’ll discuss it more in the future. For now though, let’s look at a book that is a variation on the theme called [[amazon:0802139272|Innocents]] that seems interesting from the quotes I have seen. There is some discussion of it on a [[LJ]] community I track.
“Swinging one leg up onto the table, I unrolled a white sock slowly upwards over my foot. You watched me surreptitiously from behind the pile of breakfast things you were clearing away…you disappeared into the kitchen… I put my other sock on briskly and without ceremony. Without your watching eyes, there was no need for delicacy.” – [[amazon:0802139272|source]]
In this book, like Lolita, the girl is far from passive but here her calculation and initiation is extreme. There is a lot of interesting stuff here that can be discussed in terms of my lifestyle as well. For now, read and enjoy.
“At night, you read to me. I chose the books. It was easy to react to them – little eyes wide open, eager, distracted, absorbed. I’d lie curled with my head on your knee; or you’d sit up in bed and I’d lean against you, looking up. For variation, I could put the tip of my thumb against my front teeth as though I’d been about to suck my thumb but had become so enthralled by the story that I’d left it there. Or I could pretend to fall asleep in uncomfortable positions, like a cat. This took patience and endurance. My body would scream with cramps while you ever-so-cautiously discovered that I was asleep – calling my name and stroking my hair gently. But it was a useful investment. Invariably, the next day, you’d say, “You fell asleep with your legs all twisted together and one arm behind your back, last night.” Then I could nonchalantly say, “Did I?” and you could nod and say approvingly, “You must be made of rubber!” I must be young and pliant, was what you meant. One point to me, despite the kink in my neck.” – [[amazon:0802139272|source]]
This final quote is the one I found most interesting…
“I had thought there could be no pleasure more exquisite than that of seducing a shy man. But this debauching of a decent one was more compelling than anything I had ever experienced. The expressions I used to catch on your face! The naked desire was always chased quickly away by your luscious, sensuous shame. I grew taut with desire when I saw you close your eyes, trying to draw on some inner strength that wasn’t there. I imagined what you’d be thinking: She’s only a girl. Be careful. Be gentle. Restrain yourself. But of course, when I desired it desperately enough, I could always overcome that resolve. I delighted in the weakling that lust made of you.
I made you conquer me, darling I set bait you could not refuse. “I need you so terribly,” I’d make you confess, night after intimate night. I cultivated in you an addiction for me, a physical dependency. With the movements of my body, which you still assumed were spontaneous, uncontrived, I hypnotized you. I led you a slow, terrible dance. I became more dangerously passive, day by day. I retreated further and further, enticing you after me, into my personal inferno. And like the good, trusting man you are, you came always stumbling after.” – [[amazon:0802139272|source]]