ed note: This post replaces a much more “ranting” entry. It was the fever talking, I promise ๐
ed note 2: maybe its the Christmas season, I was sick this time last year too ๐
I just got off the phone with Tatsumi and we decided reluctantly that I would not be seeing her this evening as I am still not feeling well. She is concerned about my health and as she has in the past had to hold my head while I vomited from taking too much pain medication for a tooth or rolled around in a fever sweat I would say she and Kimiko have earned the right to have an opinion on the topic.
This is all further complicated because as a house holder, owner and Daddy I have people who depend on me in ways that are probably more dependent than some “normal” relationships. They worry about Daddy and it is a source of great concern when someone who spends so much time trying to be the strongest person in their lives is “weak” or ill.
I do understand that the people who love me worry about me. I do understand that their concern is born of caring, and that they legitimately want me to be healthy. I do keep an eye on my health, I promise. I will continue to monitor my health and seek a doctors care if I feel I don’t at any time have a total handle on the situation.
So I had put up a rant about my health here, brought on by a few comments I got recently by people other than my girls when I decided to look into why some feel this way about my health. In other words why to many I might seem to be sick a lot more often than I actually am.
I am not as sick as people think I am, as often as they think I am
Once the [[wp:meme]] of me being “sick a lot” takes hold it is self re-enforcing. People on normal schedules rarely really see how much work I do and when, so they notice much more when I am not working, resting or mildly incapacitated.
Bottom line for me? I am one of the healthiest people around. I routinely demand more of my body than almost anyone I know. I work harder, longer and for more continuous periods than most and my attendance records at my Dojo will tell you that the number of times I am too ill to do what I have to do are extremely, extremely small.
I, and others, may be confusing simple fatigue with illness
I rarely take time off because I am tired. I simply don’t consider it a valid reason to slack. Couple this with my crushing schedule and lack of time off and you wind up with a odd situation.The symptoms of fatigue turn out to be almost identical to those I consider being the “edge” of a cold.
I generally work for long stretches of time on very, very little sleep. 4 hours a night is not uncommon and stretches of wakefulness with durations of more than 48 hours are also fairly common. When I cannot perform to that level it is usually because I don’t feel well. I describe it as feeling “tired” or “run down” or sometimes “I think I feel a cold coming on”. Most people wouldn’t give it a second thought – but how many people that you know demand of themselves what I do?
In other words when my performance is down it is very visible… and people take note. They notice that I don’t “feel well”. They notice that I am incapable of doing something – the thing is, that thing I was going to do was a miracle. What they are actually seeing is what it is like when I perform at a normal level ๐
When I get sick, I usually get pretty ill and stay ill for a few weeks
This illness is an example, has it been drawn out? Sure. The thing is, when I felt the first inkling of it almost 3 weeks ago I was simply not in a position to back off. In between, when many people would have gotten more sleep or done the things needed to shorten the duration I spent two weeks working 20 hour days or more. In the last three weeks I have spend more than 24 hours awake in a row on at least 5 separate occasions. Many of days during that interval I was exposed to children who had the flu and was fighting competitively.
So, is my current illness unusual for the situation or an indicator of a deeper problem? I don’t think so.
I feel your concerns, and I appreciate you expressing them. But the next person who tells me I get sick “a lot” (other than my girls, they get a pass) can start matching me hour for hour awake and working for a few months and then we’ll see if they get the occasional cold.