Kimiko came back to NJ yesterday. After picking her up at the airport we decided to celebrate with a movie. Since we both enjoy seeing things blow up in CGI we figured 2012 would be a fun little film.
We were wrong.
Yeah, things blow up. An aircraft carrier rolls over the White House etc. The special effects look great but they entirely fail to engage you as a viewer simply because the movie, well, sucks. Cusack is always fun to watch (despite his rather idiotic personal politics) and a few other performances are ok. Overall the film is about an hour too long (at 2 hours, 38 minutes) and is entirely predictable.
If youโve seen the Poseidon adventure, even the new one, then you saw 2012.
When it was over around 22:30 we were on our way out and changed our minds and snuck into Twilight: New Moon. We had missed the first 45 minutes so it was perfect. Kimiko assured me most of the whining was over (she was partially right) and that some wolf fight scenes were coming up. Let me sum new moon up with a good points / bad points bullet list.
Good
- The directing โ loads better than the first one which had the directorial skill of a hamster with a iPhone duct taped to it
- The acting โ may be related to the directing
- The writing โ you will see why later
- The special effects โ not perfect, but tolerable
- Kristen Stewart โ in this movie for almost minutes at a time she was pretty. Once or twice even kinda hot. This is a massive improvement because most of the time she looks barely conscious and utterly forgettable. To be fair, that is probably her stylists idea or she may have a contractual obligation to look pale and strung out all the time โ onscreen and off.
- Taylor Lautner โ who was not only super buff and oddly pretty about it but almost every moment his character Jacob was on screen the ridiculous Edward was nowhere to be seen
Bad
- Edward Cullen โ simply one of the most idiotic characters ever written, let alone put on film
- Bella Swan โ as idiotic as Edward, but marginally more interesting because she is occasionally easier on the eyes
In Edward and Bella we have the least likable couple since cancer and ebola. She is a self absorbed miserable little drama queen who as far as I can tell lacks even the compensation of handing out hand jobs to salvage her self esteem and he is the sort of angsty teen only a few hundred years of writing self absorbed poetry can produce.
I think this movie works as well as it does almost exclusively because for most of it they are simply not close enough to each other for their wonder twin powers to activate.
Side note: Guys, you already know this but the film is an estrogen factory. You can hear the female audience members glue themselves to the upholstery. Itโs pretty amusing.