Step 4: Memorize the Acid Tests!
\n<\/strong>
\nTest #1:\u00a0 When in doubt, throw it out!\u00a0 Don\u2019t waste your time with people that make you feel uncomfortable.\u00a0 Even if the guy was a real Dom, if his personality makes you feel uncomfortable, he\u2019s not going to be fun to play with.<\/p>\nTest #2:\u00a0 “You\u2019d better call me Sir!” is the mating call of a HNG or control freak.\u00a0 Real Doms don’t have to ask for titles, we EARN them.\u00a0 Most real Doms will say things like “please, call me Mike\u2026”<\/p>\n
Test #3:\u00a0 “I want you to take my collar before you play with me.” \u00a0 This is another common demand of fakes, most often made by control freaks. \u00a0 They have to isolate you from other people and their advice, and sometimes a little ole “cyber-collar” is just the thing!\u00a0 Cyber-collars are worth less than the leather required to make one.<\/p>\n
Test #4:\u00a0 If you get an Instant Message that says something like “On your knees you [slave, slut, bitch, whore, etc.]”\u00a0 This is the mating call of the HNG. \u00a0 Use some common sense here.\u00a0 Why waste time with somebody that\u2019s not even polite?\u00a0 There\u2019s a time and a place for these endearing terms, and it isn\u2019t online!<\/p>\n
Test #5:\u00a0 “I don’t have to answer that question!” or “It\u2019s not proper etiquette for you to ask a Master that.” are examples of some the dangerous LIES that control freaks and snerts use.\u00a0 This is the Acid test I personally think is the most important!\u00a0 A Dom had better be ready to at least TRY and answer every question you have, and HONESTLY at that!\u00a0 Its literally your ass that\u2019s on the line!\u00a0 Never forget this!<\/p>\n
Test #6:\u00a0 “Its my way or the highway!” or words to that effect, are the mating cry of the common control freak.\u00a0 Doms can have Limits too, but its your Limits that count FIRST.\u00a0 Don\u2019t let any would-be \u2018dom\u2019 tell you differently.\u00a0 Don\u2019t let any of the wannabe subs tell you differently either. Where Male Dom\/Fem sub play is concerned, it\u2019s ALWAYS LADY\u2019S CHOICE!<\/p>\n
Test #7:\u00a0 Don’t bother with online collars.\u00a0 Don’t make decisions about a prospective partner based on his online play style.\u00a0 It\u2019s a very simple test if you think about it: would a real life Dominant waste time on cyber sex?\u00a0 Please take my word for it; the answer is NO.\u00a0 Forget it, once you\u2019ve done the real thing, cyber is just too damn dull.<\/p>\n
Test #8:\u00a0 Ask your prospect if he\u2019s ever made any mistakes during a scene. \u00a0 If he say\u2019s \u2018no,\u2019 run for your life!\u00a0 If he says, \u2018very rarely,\u2019 at least be suspicious.\u00a0 Everyone makes mistakes, even if they are experienced players. Sometimes submissives have Limits they don’t even know about, and even the most careful and skilled Dom the world will trip over these occasionally. Remember, according to our good friends of the Christian faith, the last perfect guy to walk this planet got nailed to a tree for his trouble. So expect competence, but not miracles.<\/p>\n
Test #9\u00a0 “I\u2019m a [bank president, captain of industry, TV producer, self-made millionaire\u2026 yadda yadda yadda.]”\u00a0 Wouldn\u2019t it be nice to meet a rich Dom too?\u00a0 Sure it would!\u00a0 But use some common sense too.\u00a0 How many captains of industry have hours to spend in an AOL chat room?\u00a0 Also, think about this personality profile; if this super successful, always-in-control person is really into D\/s, he\u2019s likely a submissive!\u00a0 I have met a lot of female submissives that fit this ambitious profile, but not one Dom yet!<\/p>\n
Test #10\u00a0 “I\u2019m 33 years old, and I\u2019ve been a Master for 15 years.” Gimme a break!\u00a0 What are the odds?\u00a0 When you ask about a Doms level of experience (and its a good idea to do so) remember to do the math as well.\u00a0 18 year old boys don\u2019t care about the intricacies of D\/s; they want to get laid. Trust me on this one Ladies, I was an 18 year old boy once!\u00a0 I personally believe that people do become what they are (be it gay, straight, Dom or sub) very early in life, but it takes maturity and training to be a Master.\u00a0 What are the odds a person became a Master when they were still using clearacil?<\/p>\n
Test #11\u00a0 Ask for references!\u00a0 Especially if he claims to be \u2018very \u00a0 experienced.\u2019\u00a0 Talk to the references ON THE PHONE.\u00a0 Lots of HNG\u2019s have female screen-names set up to act as \u2018references\u2019 for them!\u00a0 I notice that a lot of newbies seem to have trouble with this concept.\u00a0 Which is understandable since in the vanilla world its considered rude to talk to a guy\u2019s ex-girlfriend.\u00a0 But in the D\/s Scene its the opposite, experienced players will accept and accommodate this kind of request gladly.<\/p>\n
Test #12\u00a0 “I have three real life collared slaves right now, but you can’t talk to them.”\u00a0 Okay, when you consider the ratio and all, this sounds possible. \u00a0 What makes this an acid test failed (and failed miserably at that) is the last part.\u00a0 I have met couples (and even triples) that really were looking for an extra person to add to the mix.\u00a0 This is not uncommon at all in the Scene.\u00a0 But these couples were looking TOGETHER.\u00a0 If a \u2018dom\u2019 has anyone already collared to them, you probably ought to talk to her FIRST!<\/p>\n
Test #13\u00a0 “I don’t need safe words.”\u00a0 Well of course he doesn\u2019t! \u00a0 If he said this he\u2019s likely a snert and therefore he\u2019s never really been in a scene! Of course he might be a predator too, and then he wouldn’t need safewords either.\u00a0 Need I say more?<\/p>\n
Test #14\u00a0 “My slaves trust me to set their Limits for them.”\u00a0 If you hear a “dom” say this it\u2019s most likely because these slaves only exist in his mind. Or worse still, his \u2018slave\u2019 is simply the victim of spouse abuse. \u00a0 Even so called TPE (Total Power Exchange) and other sorts of 24\/7 (i.e., full time) D\/s relationships should involve some careful negotiation.<\/p>\n
Test #15\u00a0 “I’m Married, my wife can’t know about us”\u00a0 If I have to explain this one too you, you’ve got problems.\u00a0 I have played with many married submissives in my time, but ONLY with the express permission (and more often than not, participation) of their husbands.\u00a0 Safe D\/s requires complete honesty.\u00a0 You can’t build a good Scene on lies.\u00a0 There are plenty of people that will be willing to tell you differently; but please note, they will all turn out to be adulterers (and hence, liars) themselves.<\/p>\n
Test #16\u00a0 Insert your own Acid Test here.\u00a0 You will learn much from your mist<\/p>\n
akes and missteps.\u00a0 If you form an online contact with a “dom” that \u00a0 falls through, analyze WHY it fell through.\u00a0 Don’t make the same mistakes twice if you can help it.<\/p>\n
Step 5: It\u2019s not just the men you have to screen!
\n<\/strong><\/p>\nFinding some female submissives to be buddies with you on your quest is a very good idea. \u00a0 Especially if they are experienced players; they can give you unique perspectives, emotional support, and even references to legitimate Doms to play with.\u00a0 They can also, most importantly, provide a Safety Net for you during those first meetings with the men you meet.\u00a0 The benefits of\u00a0 teaming up with other women in your search should be obvious!<\/p>\n
However, be just as cautious about what you hear from other women online as well.\u00a0 If you are so inclined to search for a Domme for instance, the Acid tests should apply just as well.\u00a0 Be very cautious about the women you meet online that claim to be submissives as well.\u00a0 There are a great number of\u00a0 female HNG\u2019s who live there D\/s lifestyle in the vacuum of cyber-space. Their advice and experiences are not only useless in the real world, they can be dangerous.\u00a0 Another class of “female enemy” is even more tragic and dangerous; the Victim.<\/p>\n
A Victim is just that; a victim of physical and or mental abuse that uses D\/s as an excuse to continue denying the reality of her tragic situation. These people are disturbingly common as well.\u00a0 They are dangerous to you too!\u00a0 These women are not just full of very dangerous advice, but they are usually very vehement about telling you that their lifestyle is the only “real D\/s.”\u00a0 They can fill your head full of doubts faster than one of the male enemy types.<\/p>\n
Spare little sympathy, tell them to get help, and stay the heck away from them (in exactly this order).\u00a0 It may seem mercenary, but it is in fact the right thing to do. \u00a0 This is my training as a CASA (Citizens Against Spouse Abuse) volunteer talking. \u00a0 An abuse victim can only save herself, and then only when she is ready to do so. \u00a0 If you let her vent her frustrations and fears on you, she will then go back to her familiar little hell.\u00a0 Leaving you emotionally drained and likely scared too. \u00a0 Your quest for safe play partners is going to be tough enough as it is.\u00a0 Avoid Victims completely if you can, and if you can’t, urge them to get help.\u00a0 It\u2019s not your job to save the world, keeping yourself safe and happy is enough work.<\/p>\n
In Closing
\n<\/strong>
\nThis all seems like a lot of work.\u00a0 It is.\u00a0 Some of it sounds awfully scary too. \u00a0 It should.\u00a0 So why bother with this quest at all?\u00a0 Why not just stick “cyber only” in your profile and forget real life D\/s?\u00a0 Why not just drop it all together?\u00a0 I can give you only one good reason; when it is done safely, and it suits your needs, it can be the one of the most profoundly fulfilling experiences in your life!\u00a0 I used to cringe at terms like “sex magic,” but now that I know the spells, I\u2019m an unabashed Wizard!\u00a0 Any student of\u00a0 psychology can tell you that denial has its own dangers too.\u00a0 The easy roads are not the ones that lead to interesting places.\u00a0 So arm yourself with knowledge, find yourself some trustworthy friends to share the journey, and start walking.\u00a0 Just don\u2019t forget to bring your Acid Tests too!<\/p>\nGLOSSARY
\n<\/strong>
\nBDSM\u00a0 –\u00a0 an acronym that combines abbreviations for Bondage and Domination, Domination and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism.<\/p>\nCollar\u00a0 –\u00a0 a symbol of possession used to denote some sort of committed relationship between a sexual Dominant and a sexual submissive.<\/p>\n
Control Freak\u00a0 –\u00a0 slang for a person with a dysfunctional personality type usually referred to as a “controlling personality.”\u00a0 See section 2, paragraph four.<\/p>\n
Cyber\u00a0 –\u00a0 slang for being online.\u00a0 Often refers to Cyber-sex.<\/p>\n
Cyber Sex\u00a0 –\u00a0 interacting with another person online for the express purpose of sexual arousal.<\/p>\n
D\/s – abbr. for Domination and Submission.<\/p>\n
Dom\u00a0 –\u00a0 abbr. or slang for a (usually male) sexual Dominant.\u00a0 A person that derives sexual and mental satisfaction from taking control of intimate sexual encounters. \u00a0 They are often simulated by using techniques such as sexual sadism, bondage, domineering role-play, and generally taking a commanding role in intimate situations.<\/p>\n
Domme\u00a0 –\u00a0 abbr. or slang for a female sexual Dominant.\u00a0 See also Dom.<\/p>\n
HNG –\u00a0 acronym for “Horny Net Geek.”\u00a0 See section 2, paragraph two.<\/p>\n
Limit\u00a0 –\u00a0 something that either partner in a D\/s relationship will not do, or does not like.\u00a0 Basically, a specific preference concerning D\/s play.\u00a0 The submissive’s Limits should always take precedence over the Dominant’s.\u00a0 Limits should always be discussed and set out before a Scene ever starts. Respecting Limits is not an option, it\u2019s a requirement.<\/p>\n
Master\u00a0 –\u00a0 A title of honor for a (male) sexual Dominant that usually denotes either a high level of experience or competence.\u00a0 Alternatively used as a term of endearment for the Dom in a Scene featuring “Master\/slave” role-playing.<\/p>\n
Mistress\u00a0 –\u00a0 A title of honor for a (female) sexual Dominant that usually denotes either a high level of experience or competence.\u00a0 Alternatively used as a term of endearment for the Domme in a Scene featuring “Mistress\/slave” role-playing.<\/p>\n
Safe Word\u00a0 –\u00a0 a code word used by the submissive to signal his\/her Dominant partner to either stop, slow down, or even completely end a Scene.\u00a0 “Safe Signals” must be substituted when the submissive is gagged or cannot otherwise speak. \u00a0 These are not an option for safe play, they are a requirement.<\/p>\n
Safety Net\u00a0 –\u00a0 a person or persons who take the responsibility to make sure that your real life meeting with a prospective play partner is safe.\u00a0 This can range from actually “chaperoning” the meeting to setting up “safe calls” and so forth.\u00a0 This is a requirement for submissives, not an option, as it is the only defense they have against predators, rapists, and con artists.\u00a0 Learn how to set one up and set them up religiously.\u00a0 Even vanilla women should learn to do this!<\/p>\n
Sexual Masochist\u00a0 –\u00a0 a person that can experience profound arousal and\/or euphoria from controlled doses of pain and other extreme stimuli.<\/p>\n
Sexual Sadist\u00a0 –\u00a0 a person that can experience profound arousal and\/or euphoria from inflicting carefully controlled doses of pain and other extreme stimuli on sexual Masochists.\u00a0 They DO NOT generally enjoy inflicting pain for its own sake.\u00a0 Nor do they enjoy using such stimuli on people that do not find it pleasurable.<\/p>\n
Slave\u00a0 –\u00a0 a title of endearment and ownership given to sexual submissives that are participating in Master\/slave lifestyles or role-playing. This usually signifies that the submissive wears the “Collar” of a particular Dominant.<\/p>\n
Sub\u00a0 –\u00a0 abbr. or slang for a sexual submissive.\u00a0 A person who derives sexual and mental satisfaction from having control taken away from them in intimate sexual situations.\u00a0 They are often (but not always) sexual masochists.\u00a0 They often derive pleasure from bondage, and generally taking a subservient role in intimate situations.<\/p>\n
Scene\u00a0 –\u00a0 slang for relating to D\/s.\u00a0 As in “Yes, she\u2019s a legitimate player in the Scene.”\u00a0 Also slang for a specific session of D\/s. \u00a0 As in “I was in this wonderful Scene last night.”\u00a0 Often used as a verb in the same case; “They Scened at the party last night.”<\/p>\n
Subbie\u00a0 –\u00a0 common endearment for a sexual submissive, usually a fe<\/p>\n
male submissive.<\/p>\n
Vanilla\u00a0 –\u00a0 slang for things that are not “kinky” or not related to sexual Dominance and submission.<\/p>\n
Victim\u00a0 –\u00a0 a victim of abuse that uses D\/s to “legitimize” her tragic situation.\u00a0 See section 5, paragraph 2.<\/p>\n
Wannabe\u00a0 –\u00a0 derogatory;\u00a0 most often refers to a person that pretends to be a legitimate real life player in D\/s.\u00a0 Most often used in reference to females that pretend to be sexual submissives.<\/p>\n
copyright MadSciDom@AOL.com<\/a>
\nAll rights reserved.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"This is the original, unedited text of the MadSci Acid Test. It is shown here for completeness as a reference for the rant “A hit of Acid Test“. Update – 05\/20\/2015 I am prescient. There is no other way to explain it. It is now some 14\u00a0years later and in a thread on Fetlife some […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":53143,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[278],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/303"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/303\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/53143"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}