{"id":3512,"date":"2009-04-27T10:20:57","date_gmt":"2009-04-27T14:20:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.soulhuntre.com\/2009\/04\/27\/thoughts-on-breaking\/"},"modified":"2009-04-27T10:20:57","modified_gmt":"2009-04-27T14:20:57","slug":"thoughts-on-breaking","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/2009\/04\/27\/thoughts-on-breaking\/","title":{"rendered":"Thoughts on &#8220;breaking&#8221;&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I just posted this <a href=\"http:\/\/fetlife.com\/groups\/219\/group_posts\/155507\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">on a FetLife thread<\/a>\u2026 but it is worth copying here. <\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>One of the things it means to break someone is simply this &#8211; in a contested battle of wills they finally internalize the realization that yours is the stronger. Obviously many, many dom \/ sub couples have this realization as part of their connection but not all of those couples only ever came to this only after a battle.<\/p>\n<p>Make a decision about what you want, then insist upon it. If she refuses or does not comply simply remove all of the benefits you accord her &#8211; your time, your attention, your participation in the things she wants from you.<\/p>\n<p>If she is the type who will fight you she will try everything to break <em>you<\/em>. Guilt. Tears. Appeals to your ethics. She may threaten to leave. She may call you an abuser. She may whine about how hard her childhood was and how much you are hurting her.<\/p>\n<p>How you deal with that will define how the rest of your relationship with her progresses. If you break you will have to do it all again someday if you want to regain control.<\/p>\n<p>In my experience when someone talks of being broken is rarely actually discussing the physical (though sometimes a physical method is needed as a tool to force the catharsis) but in actuality is looking for this simple sequence&#8230;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>You to draw the lines <\/li>\n<li>Them to try change the lines <\/li>\n<li>You prove that the lines will not change <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>They crave proof of your will. They wish the assurance of knowing that you will not be moved<\/p>\n<p>This does not mean that in the future you can never be a man of flexibility. It doe snot mean you can&#8217;t change your mind or that you will never make an error. It simply means that you will do as YOU decide is best. Always.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Enjoy \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I just posted this on a FetLife thread\u2026 but it is worth copying here. One of the things it means to break someone is simply this &#8211; in a contested battle of wills they finally internalize the realization that yours is the stronger. Obviously many, many dom \/ sub couples have this realization as part [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":53173,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[278],"tags":[286],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3512"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3512"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3512\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/53173"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3512"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3512"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3512"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}