{"id":484,"date":"2000-10-11T22:28:14","date_gmt":"2000-10-11T22:28:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.soulhuntre.com\/items\/date\/2000\/10\/11\/too-dam-funny-for-words-ha\/"},"modified":"2000-10-11T22:28:14","modified_gmt":"2000-10-11T22:28:14","slug":"too-dam-funny-for-words-ha","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/2000\/10\/11\/too-dam-funny-for-words-ha\/","title":{"rendered":"too dam funny for words – ha!"},"content":{"rendered":"

too dam funny for words<\/u><\/b> – ha!<\/p>\n

I have more to say today and tomorrow about a number of things, but let me
\ntake a moment hear to tell you that "Old Man Murray<\/a>" is one of the
\nfunniest things on the net. Ever. A sample is in order:<\/p>\n

\n\n\n
Preparing for the Government’s visit took some intense
\n plotting. Erik’s plan was that we’d each wear beige pants, each drink a
\n gallon of water beforehand, then, as the agents walked in the door,
\n simultaneously empty our bladders right into our tan slacks. He thought
\n the expanding wet spot was a widely recognized symbol of fear and
\n respect. "Let’s make that Plan B," Chet said. His idea was
\n that we would simply bribe them with sex. "This plan hinges on
\n precision timing," he told us, "and that all the agents they
\n send are corrupt. And gay."<\/p>\n

"I’m not having sex with them," Seanbaby said.<\/p>\n

"And they’re attracted to Erik," Chet was forced to add,
\n "Those are long odds, but we’ve got twenty-four hours to doll Erik
\n up, and I’ve got a can’t-miss beauty regimen: Erik, take off your
\n glasses."<\/p>\n

Erik took them off.<\/p>\n

Chet walked around him in a circle, rubbing his chin. "Well, that
\n didn’t work. I guess we can always fall back on precision timing."<\/p>\n

"This is insane." Sean told him, "Everyone knows the key
\n to getting the dork to look like a stud is tearing the sleeves off his
\n shirt. Actually, fuck that. Keep your sleeves on. Nobody here wants to
\n kill the president. It’s just a fucking mixup."<\/p>\n

"Plan B it is then," Erik said, "Let’s practice! Everyone
\n hold hands." – click me to read more!<\/a><\/i>\n <\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n<\/div>\n

Anyway, read it. Now. You’ll be that much closer to me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

too dam funny for words – ha! I have more to say today and tomorrow about a number of things, but let me take a moment hear to tell you that "Old Man Murray" is one of the funniest things on the net. Ever. A sample is in order: Preparing for the Government’s visit took […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":53187,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[278],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/484"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=484"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/484\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/53187"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=484"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=484"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=484"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}