{"id":563,"date":"2000-10-24T00:34:27","date_gmt":"2000-10-24T00:34:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.soulhuntre.com\/items\/date\/2000\/10\/24\/point-counterpoint-technology-good-lord-this\/"},"modified":"2000-10-24T00:34:27","modified_gmt":"2000-10-24T00:34:27","slug":"point-counterpoint-technology-good-lord-this","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/2000\/10\/24\/point-counterpoint-technology-good-lord-this\/","title":{"rendered":"Point-Counterpoint: Technology Good lord, this"},"content":{"rendered":"

Point-Counterpoint: Technology<\/a><\/p>\n

Good lord, this is funny! Go read the rest…<\/p>\n

“I feature a one-Gigahertz Pentium III processor and 128 megabytes of RAM. And this broad is whining that I’m not fast enough. A fucking Lamborghini isn’t fast enough if you don’t know how to shift, brainiac. And, believe it or not, you actually have to exit a program when you’re done with it. Not just close the window. You actually have to select “Close” from the File menu. Or, better yet, Alt-F4 on your keyboard. I’m not gonna take the fall just because you left RealPlayer, AOL Instant Messager, Microsoft Word, ACT! 2000, WinAmp, McAfee First Aid, and the sound- and video-card software all open, and you’re trying to open Excel! All that stuff costs RAM, dumbass. Maybe if you’d check the system tray once a month. The precise reason I’m “groaning and grinding so much” is that your stupid catalog of open programs is so taxing to my RAM that it forces me to open virtual memory, which is gonna be slow as hell no matter what computer you’re on.<\/p>\n

And, hey, Vicki, if you’re having trouble with sticky keys, maybe you should think about not eating so goddamn many blueberry muffins while you’re at your desk. (This Einstein seems to think the area beneath my keys is a gateway to an interdimensional netherworld where crumbs are magically whisked away, never to be seen again.)<\/p>\n

Oh, and technical wizards who roamed the Earth generations ago came up with a magic fix-all for a printer that doesn’t work: Turn the fucking thing on. That cable connecting me to the printer isn’t a friggin’ power cable. You actually need actual electricity to actually flow into the actual printer for it to actually work.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Point-Counterpoint: Technology Good lord, this is funny! Go read the rest… “I feature a one-Gigahertz Pentium III processor and 128 megabytes of RAM. And this broad is whining that I’m not fast enough. A fucking Lamborghini isn’t fast enough if you don’t know how to shift, brainiac. And, believe it or not, you actually have […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":53140,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[278],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/563"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=563"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/563\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/53140"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=563"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=563"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=563"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}