{"id":64,"date":"2005-11-17T22:54:46","date_gmt":"2005-11-18T02:54:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.soulhuntre.com\/items\/date\/2005\/11\/17\/i-did-not-fuck-tucker-max\/"},"modified":"2005-11-17T22:54:46","modified_gmt":"2005-11-18T02:54:46","slug":"i-did-not-fuck-tucker-max","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/2005\/11\/17\/i-did-not-fuck-tucker-max\/","title":{"rendered":"I did NOT fuck Tucker MAx."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I have two comments about <a href=\"http:\/\/ifuckedtuckermax.com\/\">I Fucked Tucker Max<\/a>. <\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>This is some funny shit<\/li>\n<li>I have been to a ceremony that could be described in much the same way <a href=\"http:\/\/ifuckedtuckermax.blogspot.com\/2005\/11\/wedding-part-two-of-apparently-three.html\">as the one mentioned below<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<blockquote>\n<p>&ldquo;Please rise.&rdquo; We all rise in compliance with the lesbian&rsquo;s wishes. &ldquo;Please face the East.&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>What? <\/p>\n<p>&ldquo;Oh, good spirits of the East, we gather here today to ask of you, the eagle, the badger, the water moccasin, blessing in this union of Trixie and&hellip;&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>What the fuck?<\/p>\n<p>Five minutes later &ndash; a full five &ndash; we turn to face the North. And begin praying to animals again. For an entire half an hour, we were lead in prayer by a lesbian with a dead mongoose hanging from her belt as we asked the blessing of animals and spirits and of the wind and fire and why, why, why don&rsquo;t I have any whiskey left. East, North, West, South, Up, Down, Amen. Five minutes each. A half an hour, standing, turning, praying. All of the grandparents had to sit down by South; I chose to sit down by West. My grandmother grumbled at me through gritted teeth, &ldquo;What did I do to make him marry her.&#8221;<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I have two comments about I Fucked Tucker Max. This is some funny shit I have been to a ceremony that could be described in much the same way as the one mentioned below &ldquo;Please rise.&rdquo; We all rise in compliance with the lesbian&rsquo;s wishes. &ldquo;Please face the East.&rdquo; What? &ldquo;Oh, good spirits of the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":53157,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[278],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/64"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=64"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/64\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/53157"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=64"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=64"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/legacyiamsenseiken.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=64"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}